Carrick & Berba To Toon? My God!

The press hype around Keegan is fascinating, really. I did not see the Newcastle v Bolton game on Saturday but as I heard I barely missed anything worthy of note. Yet the Newcastle manager is still viewed as the best thing that happened at St. James' Park since Alan Shearer signed his first contract.

When Big Sam was in charge they were usually linked with players who, well, are not in the 'mainstream' when it comes to transfer rumours. Guys like Rozehnal and Beye are exactly the type of players whom you would find around a mid-table club and there's nothing wrong with that.

Now that the Mighty Mouse is back the tabloids are on the up with their rumours. Newcastle fans were always viewed as delusional for their aspirations of grandeur despite their miserable trophyless run but it seems like that now the press is waging a war for the Barcodes to be recognised as a top club instead of a mid-table on what they really are. The method is simple: they are linked with big-name players who are not past it.

Seeing Micah Richards' name was not much of a shocker: for all their good form you never know with Citeh and if you're any good at football then the sooner you jump ship the better. I could even work out a theory that Keegan's name is a mightily attractive thing for the youngster but I don't really think so...

But there is our very own Michael Carrick and if you hadn't guessed then I tell you that this rumour has inspired the article. According to tabloids, Keegan, blessed with a tremendous warchest thanks to Mike 'Harun Al-Rasid' Ashley, would be ready to shell out Ł18m for the midfielder.

This is really cool, really. First, we would actually sell him on with a profit after everyone laughed at the Ł14.6m fee we paid for him. Secondly, he's a Geordie so he fits the bill. You might even say that with Anderson, Hargreaves and Scholes all available soon, his opportunities will be limited and therefore might be tempted to look for a new challenge.

I don't think Carrick shirks away from challenges but this one is a little too big. Newcastle are crying out for a midfielder like him, he would be perfect into that team as most of their midfielders can't pass to save their lives (Mr. Emre you may consider yourself excepted). But Fergie won't let him go. No, he won't. We have such a strong pool of central midfielders that he would hate to break it up now. And Carrick has ambitions, he would not give up so easily.

And now, the very best one. Dimitar Berbatov to be nicked by Newcastle. Now come on people, get a bloody grip. Are Newcastle better than Spurs? No, so it would not be an improvement to move there. Does he have other opportunities? Well, if reports are to be believed he will end up at Old Trafford in the summer. So his alternatives are as follows: should he go to a mid-table team that's been going to nowhere for years now or choose the Champions who happen to have only three strikers, with one of them constantly injured? Difficult, isn't it?

I'd still love to know how people make up these rumours. Anyone has inside information on Sun's sports section?