The Finest Rumours About United

Been a long time since we've last presented you with a collection of tabloid speculation so here we go.

First, it's a little lesson in logic. There is a player whose future is uncertain: he's wanted by a number of clubs but he wants to return to his parent club after a successful loan spell. After long and hard thinking, the club indicate they want him back.

Did you follow? If you did, then I ask a question: what would come next? Of course, one would say that the man will be brought back to receive the chance he had craved. Hell, it's not sure if we're talking about Giuseppe Rossi and we do, I can assure you. His agent say that the young striker would love to play for Napoli and that they are now waiting for the Italians to make an offer.

It seems that as long as we don't want him, Rossi wants to stay but when we'd like to keep him, he finds a desire to leave. Or is it Heinzeitis - in other words, is only his agent stirring things up?

Heinze's future is still in the balance though he was polite enough to praise Sir Alex's man-management skills. His lawyers are not so kind as they're still working on his move to Liverpool.

Sven-Göran Eriksson reckons he can make up for the departure of Sylvain Distin by bringing in Mikael Silvestre. I'd say it's not a bad idea for him but I'd warn Silvestre from going there, for the obvious reasons. Somehow I think Lyon would be a better place for him then the Eastlands...

And of course there's still Alan Smith. He seems reluctant to leave for Middlesbrough and work with Gareth Southgate - no wonder, he'd be better of with either Sam Allardyce or David Moyes, both reported to be considering bids for him. I'd choose Everton if I were Smith, they have precious few strikers and he might be able to work well with Andy Johnson. But of course I almost forgot Sven: he's also in the race. 10 Prem goals at home, anyone?

Started with Rossi, finish with Rossi: some sources claim a swap deal involving Juventus' Rafaele Palladino will bring the end to Giuseppe's Old Trafford career. I, on the other hand, wonder what's the point in swapping a young, talented Italian striker for a young, talented Italian striker?