UK time is: 23:18:28
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

That Lam Chop was Delightful

My life is currently like an attempt on goal from Frank Lampard; it lacks any real direction. The wife tries to fill her void with a part time job in a psychiatric hospital; it`s great that they can relate to someone on their own level.

There was a heated discussion at the wife`s workplace on the relative merits of Steven Gerrard MBE and Frank Lampard BFG. Opinion was split right down the middle; the staff sided with Stevie, the patients plumped for Frank.

The great thing about a debate of this nature is the fact that there is no wrong answer; apart from 'Lampard`. The argument has momentarily been settled by a freak injury, although that`s a little bit harsh on Wayne Rooney. Nobody can argue against a punt on Chelsea at 1/3 to take care of Watford.

You don`t become a bad player overnight; it took Robbie Savage almost two years. I`m taking the 9/2 for a Shevchenko opener.

Historical stats are like Helen Chamberlain, they`re often reeled out but they serve no useful purpose. Middlesbrough have lost on their last four visits to West Ham, but I wouldn`t put anyone off a draw at 23/10.

The last time the Gunners visited Anfield, the Arsenal kids ran amok so uncontrollably, the local council considered issuing ASBOs. The Gunners look a great investment at 23/10 to leave Liverpool victorious for a third time.

Julio Baptista has had his knockers this season, but he always turns it on against the Reds. I like big Baps; he can open the scoring at 8/1.

I was shocked to read that Sir Alex Ferguson fired a flurry of insulting expletives towards the jovial Geoff Shreeves. The roving reporter was considering suing for slander, but Fergie`s 'I thought it was Tim Lovejoy` defence is watertight. I`m convinced that the 1/3 for a United win over Blackburn is also rock solid.

Bolton will be without Ivan Campo for the visit of the Blades as a routine haircut has ran into major complications. Big Sam`s men will mow down Sheffield United at 4/6.

I`m quite a spiritual being; in fact I have the ability to heal. I once roused a young lady from a drunken stupor merely by the laying of hands. She`s now completely teetotal.

Alan Pardew has breathed new life into the previously moribund Charlton; Wigan are going down in the Valley at 6/5.

Chris Coleman deserves a pat on the back. It`s easier to take something away from Tony Martin`s cottage than it is from Fulham`s. The Coleman`s mustard, they`ll see off Pompey at 5/4.

Spurs fans are still reeling from a disappointing result against the champions. Everyone knows you should throw the jab before considering a haymaker. I`m getting stuck into the 4/5 for a Tottenham win over Reading.

The ice on which Stuart Pearce`s position sits is so thin; ecological organisations have pleaded with Frank Lampard to steer clear. Manchester City won`t enjoy their trip to Newcastle, it`s far too close to Scotland. City have lost at St James` Park on their last five visits, another Newcastle win at 21/20 will put the icing on Psycho`s cake of sorrow.

My search for a more fulfilling existence has led me to consider embracing an alternative religion. I`ll speak to Geoff Shreeves; Sir Alex mentioned something about a cult. I`m praying that the Villa beat Everton at 7/5.

This week`s accer is so eye-opening, I`ve finally realised that the secret to happiness was right in front of me all along; I live across the road from an off-license. Charlton, Newcastle, Tottenham and Aston Villa are the selections, the 17/1 payout will cover the cost of a crate of enlightenment.

Weekend Betting:

Liverpool v Arsenal
Saturday 31st March 12:45
Live on Sky

Liverpool 5/4
Draw 9/4
Arsenal 23/10

Get on: Arsenal

Match Special:
Baptista to score from outside the penalty area 7/1

Bolton v Sheff Utd
Saturday 31st March 15:00

Bolton 4/6
Draw 5/2
Sheff Utd 9/2

Get on: Bolton

Match Special:
Bolton to win and keep a clean sheet 17/10

Charlton v Wigan
Saturday 31st March 15:00

Charlton 6/5
Draw 23/10
Wigan 12/5

Get on: Charlton

Match Special:
Darren Bent to score two or more goals 11/2

Fulham v Portsmouth
Saturday 31st March 15:00

Fulham 5/4
Draw 9/4
Portsmouth 11/5

Get on: Fulham

Match Special:
Bouba Diop to score with a header 12/1

Man Utd v Blackburn
Saturday 31st March 15:00

Man Utd 1/3
Draw 4/1
Blackburn 19/2

Get on: Man Utd

Match Special:
Scholes to score at any time 11/4

Newcastle v Man City
Saturday 31st March 15:00

Newcastle 21/20
Draw 23/10
Man City 3/1

Get on: Newcastle

Match Special:
Martins to score the only goal of the game 25/1

West Ham v Middlesbrough Saturday 31st March 15:00

West Ham 5/4
Draw 23/10
Middlesbrough 9/4

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Match to finish 1-1 or 2-2 7/2

Watford v Chelsea
Saturday 31st March 17:15
Live on Premiership Plus

Watford 9/1
Draw 7/2
Chelsea 1/3

Get on: Chelsea

Match Special:
Shevchenko to score a hat-trick 25/1
Tottenham v Reading
Sunday 1st April 16:00 Live on Sky

Tottenham 4/5
Draw 12/5
Reading 4/1

Get on: Tottenham

Match Special:
Berbatov to score the first goal 5/1

Aston Villa v Everton
Monday 2nd April 20:00
Live on Sky

Aston Villa 7/5
Draw 9/4
Everton 2/1

Get on: Aston Villa

Match Special:
Carew to score in a 2-0 Villa win 17/1

By Gerry McDonnell




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Site Staff Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday March 29 2007

Time: 10:42AM

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Manchester United Articles

Is Fletchers Time Up? (Monday September 22 2014)

How Much for Strootman? (Monday September 22 2014)

Rafael After Lengthy Stay (Monday September 22 2014)

Double Trouble! (Monday September 22 2014)

Falcao Better than Rooney Insinuation! (Monday September 22 2014)

Is There a Gambler in the House? (Monday September 22 2014)

It`s a Joke! (Monday September 22 2014)

Louis van Gaal`s Lament! (Sunday September 21 2014)

Stats: Leicester City v United (Sunday September 21 2014)

Leicester City 5 United 3 (Sunday September 21 2014)

Archived Manchester United Articles

List All Vital United Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
Leicester City 5 - 3 Man Utd
Man Utd 4 - 0 Q.P.R.
Burnley 0 - 0 Man Utd
Sunderland 1 - 1 Man Utd
Man Utd 1 - 2 Swansea

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
9. Spurs 5 2 1 2 1 7
10. Hull City 5 1 3 1 0 6
11. Liverpool 5 2 0 3 -1 6
12. Man Utd 5 1 2 2 1 5
13. Stoke 5 1 2 2 -1 5
14. Everton 5 1 2 2 -2 5
15. Crystal Palace 5 1 2 2 -2 5

Breaking League News

Toon Kids Triumph
Newcastle : 22/09/2014 21:59:00
Liverpool: Middlesbrough Preview
Liverpool : 22/09/2014 21:33:00
Is Fletchers Time Up?
Man Utd : 22/09/2014 17:40:00
Defoe on Hammers Radar!
West Ham : 22/09/2014 17:34:00
How Much for Strootman?
Man Utd : 22/09/2014 17:29:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Leicester (a) MOTM?
Suggested By:  Red Boy
De Gea 1%
Rafael 0%
Evans 0%
Blackett 16%
Rojo 0%
Blind 0%
Di Maria 83%
Herrera 0%
Rooney 0%
Falcao 0%
Van Persie 0%
Smalling 0%
Mata 0%
Januzaj 0%