Transfer Rumours - The World's Gone Mad

Well, the silly season is well and truly underway. The Premier League is over, the FA Cup is over, the Champions League is over (and we've won it - just to remind you in case you've forgotten it), the playoffs are settled so time for ridiculous transfer speculation.

And no sign of a slow, sluggish start, like the one United produced back in August. The papers started off with a real bang.

The Sunday Mirror, leading lights of credibility, claims United were ready to buy Thierry Henry who was crying all over the place after Frank Rijkaard's removal from Barcelona, believing he had no future at the Camp Nou.

Fortunately for Thierry, new coach Pep Guardiola assured him that he is very much in his plans so he could breathe a sigh of relief and smugly inform United that he doesn't want to sign after all.

It's not impossible that all of the above is true: after all, Fergie had shown a fondness for signing over-the-hill French stars - all right, only one, Laurent Blanc. I doubt whether he would commit a similar mistake again.

But the big thing, of course, is Ronaldo's imminent move to Real Madrid. Having assured everyone 728 times that he wants to stay, Ronaldo is still believed to be set for Real Madrid. Marca claims United want Diarra, Robinho and Ramos plus 45 million euros in exchange for the Portuguese - really, are these journalists serious or their sole aim is to have a good laugh at the headquarters of the paper?

There are some minor things like that Fraizer Campbell would not exactly resent being sent back to newly promoted Hull City while Freddy Adu (you know, he was supposed to be the next big thing in the US) is dreaming about playing with Wayne Rooney. Well, I had a dream once about playing with United players and I clearly remember converting Scholesy's glorious pass - yet I doubt this story will end up in the rumours section of any paper. Shame on them.